My Fitness Journey

Thursday, August 27, 2015

I was a chubby kid. Around 6th grade (and puberty) I started to get taller and leaner. Yet, my self-image wasn't getting any better. Although I don't think I ever struggled with eating disorders, my obsession to be skinny took the better of me sometimes. This obsession was on and off during most of my middle and high school career. At around tenth and eleventh grade, I started exercising with my family. Strength training during those years made me feel better - I was in the best shape and as healthy as I could be. However, even though I was thirty pounds lighter, I remember still struggling with my self image.

Once college started, I slowly stopped working out. Even though I refused to admit it, the Freshman 15 were real. Getting a boyfriend the second month of school didn't help either. During Sophomore and Junior year of college, I tried harder to eat better, even though I didn't exercise as much. But along the way, I started gaining confidence. While my family was telling me I had gained weight, I didn't see it as a big deal - I was eating as healthy as I could, I tried to exercise when I had time; but most importantly to me, I was slaying at school.

My boyfriend has always loved a few pounds on me. Although I don't like the idea of having someone validate the way I felt about my body, it was reassuring. I know that I have pounds that I don't want - my tummy is soft, my thighs are thick - but I'm happy that I can wake up every day and do amazing in school. I've stopped trying to define myself by my size.

Interestingly enough, now that I'm more comfortable in my own body, I'm exercising more. The trick? I'm doing it because I like it and because I feel good, not necessarily because of the end result. I realized that cardio isn't really my thing - I rather squeeze it in by going up stairs or walking around campus. Instead, I look up weight training exercises online and follow those routines. The idea of my my body lifting a certain amount of weight for certain reps is far more exhilarating to me. My body can do that? Plus, I'm not going lie, I kinda like wearing leggings and how kick-ass I look squatting. I've always been proud of my booty.

This is the beginning of my fitness journey. But I'm not seeking an end. Sure, it'd be nice to get back to my pre-college weight, but I know that's not really going to happen. Instead, I rather feel proud of what my body can do and treat it with the respect it deserves.

(Photo credit: Pinterest)

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