You're In Love

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Although The Bachelor is not usually the show that brings about insightful conversations, this month of love, watching the show makes me want to ask: How do you know you're in love? As a person in a three year relationship, sometimes it's easy to lose track of what made you fall in love with that person in the first place. This is definitely not a cut-and-dry checklist of feelings to have, but I want to write a little bit about my relationship with A.

I think it's really important to know that being in love with someone does not equal needing someone. A is my best friend--we are our weirdest with each other. He's seen the good, the ugly, and the boring. But I wouldn't want to be or act anyway else. I've heard of different people say that you have to keep certain things for yourself but the reason why A and I are so good for each other is because we have no barriers with each other. I don't need him in my life, but I want him in it forever. Isn't it that much more important when you know you don't need someone to be happy and, despite that, you're still with them because you want to?

You know how people keep saying that you need to 'sleep on' a fight? Maybe spend a few hours away? I'm no expert in relationships and my parents' opinions definitely differ from mine but I know I love A when I try my hardest to make things work. So much so that I wouldn't want anyone else to fight with. I hope this isn't coming across the wrong way--couples have arguments. A and I have had our share of arguments and his initial response is to back away but he's actually told me that he's glad I'm so stubborn about resolving discussions because he knows that it's important for him to communicate his feelings. Typical boy, it's harder for A to express his feelings than it is for me and sometimes, when I feel that's a weakness of mine, he reinforces the idea that being honest is 100% the root of all relationships.

Something that happens when you are in a long term relationship is that you start taking things for granted. A and I spend a lot of time together so when last December we spent a whole month apart--we spent Christmas, his birthday, and New Years apart for the first time since 2012--I realized many things about our relationship. It's so easy to be with A and I truly do miss him when we're apart. We realized that sometimes we get too comfortable just hanging out and we take that for granted and forget to really let each other know how much the other person means to us. Since we've been together throughout this last month, A has really made an effort to make time for special dates and for making me feel spoiled and appreciated. I'm the kind of gal who just likes spending an evening in my PJs with wine and movies, but when A takes me out, it changes the pace and we press a reset button. I take time to really let him know I appreciate this, too.

Everybody says it: Relationships are hard. Maybe I'm too young to know, but I want to think otherwise. My relationship with A is beautifully easy. It's only hard when we're both being stubborn and not communicating. I know there's still a lot that we must go through as a couple and some of those things are scary--graduation, maybe living together, our careers--but I'm confident that we've built a solid base to fall back on.

XO,
Patricia

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